I have 2 more days left until Spring Break and I could not be more ready. I am so tired! I have not been sleeping at all since I got the news I was surplussed.
You know what is crazy? I have been thinking since I came back from Winter Break about my options as a teacher in the future. Since my experience in the Fall of 2010 (my first semester teaching), my parents have not wanted me to go back to my school. With everything I have had to deal with and all of the situations I have been placed in, they fear for my safety on a daily basis. Some of that is because they are my parents and they do not appreciate their daughter going to work and having to put up with wanna be gangsters and gangsters saying "F*ck You." to their daughter while she is trying to earn a living. The other part is fear. They are afraid for my safety.
Since I am single, if I stay late at school, I can count on a phone call from my mother every 5 minutes until I answer. She is checking on me to make sure I am safe and on my way home. Her philosophy is since there is no one at home to make sure I get home okay, she wants to make sure I at least leave school in one piece. She about had a heart attack each time I stayed late (until 9:30pm) to chaperone a dance, or attend a school sports game. Now I know it is normal for all parents to worry, but I have never worked in a position in my entire life where my mother has demanded to speak to me to make sure I am alright. I work banquets and don't get out of work until 12:30am and I don't hear a peep out of her. But staying late at school warrants a phone call. I am thankful I have her support to worry about me.
I do have a heightened sense of security at my school. I definitely "rock the boat" at school. I do not put up with my students bullying me or harassing me, or acting up in class. Most teachers I have learned turn the other way when faced with these situations. Maybe it is my ignorance and youth, but I have no tolerance for that sort of behavior. This might surprise some of my students, but the work place has no tolerance for that either. I can not think of one situation where I could go in to work and yell "F*ck You" to my boss or co-worker and not expect to be terminated right there on the spot. In my mind, I am preparing my students for exactly our district's mission statement: "To prepare every student for success in career, college, and life." Funny how that is working out for me.
In my sense of security, I find myself getting to school 1 hour before school starts and leaving no earlier than 1 hour after school starts. I have realized I do this so my students will not learn what kind of car I drive. When one of my students did find out, they made sure to announce it to the entire class and include the make, model, and license plate number of my vehicle. That rattled my bones a little bit. The make and model wouldn't necessarily bother me, but why on earth would they remember the license plate number? I can't even get them to remember to put their name on their papers they turn in!
I about had a heart attack yesterday. Apparently, my students have discovered a website called beenverified.com. On this website, you can enter in a persons first name, last name, and state they live in. Then, you get a search which lists that persons age, the city they currently live in, and a lot of cities they are from. This will also tell you who they may be related to. Imagine my surprise when my students walked in to class yesterday and said, "Miz, you are 28 years old, you live in ____, AZ, and your mom's name is ____ and your dad's name is _______, and you have also lived in ______, NM, ______, NM, and ________ NM."
Awesome feeling. Then I was told that for $5.00, they could actually get my house address too. Anyone know any way I can block myself on these types of websites?
With all my "justifications" for not returning to my school next year, I am still heartbroken at the fact I was surplussed. I know it shouldn't be such a big deal, but how on earth are teachers supposed to "bond" with their school and the student population if we are constantly being reminded we are disposable? I do have some sweet students. I have some I will miss tremendously. The thought of not watching them graduate just pains me. These students I have offered my personal email address so we can keep in touch after the school year is over.
These thoughts are keeping me up at night.....plus the nausea of not knowing what the right thing to do in this situation.....do I stay, or do I go?
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