Nervous Breakdown

It happened - I had a total meltdown today.

4th period Peer Leadership Advisory. I usually have 18 students in my class. It is during this time I can request for other students to come see me for additional help or for tutoring purposes. I requested about 12 students to come see me (all who failed their test miserably!). Today, I had my 18 students, plus the teacher next door to me was gone with a sub for the day and she brought her class in to my room to watch the video announcements. That brought my grand total up to about 36. Then you add the 12 on top of that and I was up to about 50 kids in my room at the same time! AUGH!

My student who is the baby daddy was also in my class. I can't figure out if he is desiring attention in a negative manner, or if he really is that shallow. He keeps asking me the SAME question over and over and over again. I had it! I was so frustrated trying to keep the peace, find seats for all the other kids, make sure they are not writing on my desks, telling my quiz taking students what they were supposed to be doing (which I did 4 x's), checking grades, getting textbooks, getting calculators, checking homework, getting new quizzes, making sure kids who are taking quizzes are not cheating, I was ready to lose my mind! And I did. He asked me the dumbest question on the planet......."What am I supposed to be doing?"

Now, I have already explained what he needed to do 4 times that class period. I already explained it on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday in class. I have already asked him to get rid of his iPod, stop texting and to spit out his gum. What more do I have to explain to him?! I lost it, I hollered at him, "_____! You are going to put me on the news! You are going to drive me so crazy I am going to have to beat the crap out of you! I will be the crazy teacher who was put on the news because she beat the heck out of her student! If I could, I would pick you up right now and throw you out the window! You know what?! I don't want to hear another word out of you all day! ALL DAY! Do you understand? Nod your head if you understand!!!!!"

I was shaking I was so irritated. I was beet red and the rest of my class erupted with laughter. Apparently I am quite funny when I am in the middle of a meltdown. Then all hell broke loose.

I had one kid throw a football across the room to another kid. I asked him to get out in to the hall. Then the kid sitting next to him said, "Yeah, get your ass in the hall!" I asked him to join us out in the hall too.

After scolding both of them (and accepting their 500 apologies), I came back in and the kid who I had already asked 4 times to pull his pants up had his pants back down sagging around his knees. I told him AGAIN; "I am not going to tell you again, pull your pants up!!!!" He said, "Augh, this is bull shit." I asked him to step out in to the hall. Then I forgot about him and left him in the hall the rest of the period (on sheer accident......maybe?)!

I was ready to throw in the towel and walk out (kind of)! Augh! I was so frustrated! By this time, the other teachers class next to me had left back to their room, but still! Once you lose control, it is so FRIGGIN hard to gain it back!

6th period is my lunch. The teacher next to me has a class 6th period. I was keeping my ear open to make sure the sub was doing alright all day. Towards the end of 6th period, I heard some commotion and I walked over to her class to check on her. The same little turkey who I always scold for running in the hall was tantalizing her by opening up the door to leave class before the bell rang. I asked him to step back in to the lab. The bell rang and I feel I unleashed the fury on him!

"What part of taunting the substitute did you think was funny? Is it funny now? Do you understand she is making less money than a person flipping burgers at McDonalds to do this? Do you have any idea what her job is? Her job is to keep you safe. If she asks you not to do something, I expect you to be a descent human being and respect her wishes. She is in charge. She is the one who is in charge of keeping you safe. You are a funny kid. You make me laugh. However, when you have a sub in this class or any other class for that matter, you better step up and put yourself in check. It is not about you. The world does not revolve around you being funny. How dare you think that it is more important for you to look cool in front of you friends and to make her job harder than it has to be."

He walked back in to the room and apologized to the sub. I followed him out of the classroom and shook his hand and told him to have a nice day and I would see him tomorrow.

AUGH! Why did I work so hard in school to put up with this?!?

P.S. I had about 6 kids come in after school and stay until 5pm to catch up on missing work. That makes me smile!